Continuing the IVF Journey

The last few weeks have been crazy!

I started my Lupron shots on the 4th. My husband is my shot giver and I think he somewhat enjoys it! 😉 It makes him feel “needed” at a time where we are literally relying on science to make a baby.  The shot itself is nothing, but they have been giving me massive headaches. Just one of the side effects & nothing I can’t handle.

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I can tell that I am a little more “hormonal” from the shots, but this is totally normal & I constantly have to remind myself to chill. This is only the beginning! Oh geez lol.

Last week we went for my weekly ultrasound. This was going to be the “baseline” & we were going to start my cycle that following Monday.

Unfortunately, they found a cyst that was producing too much estrogen for us to start the other medications. Too many hormones at once & they could potentially counteract with each other.

I was a little bummed, okay fine, a lot bummed, but I had faith that the cyst would shrink & we would only be off our schedule by a week. The nurse was confident that the Lupon shots I was already taking would help shrink the cyst.

I was asked to come back the next week & do another ultrasound to see if the cyst had disappeared or shrunk…  Turns out, it had grown. L L

I automatically started crying. This was it, we would have to start over, all of this had been a waste. Blah Blah Blah Blah

My pity party, whoa is me, attitude came whooshing back.  My doctor wanted to check the hormone levels before she gave us a definite yes or no. SO the rest of the afternoon, in my pessimistic mind, I thought that we would have to cancel this cycle, wait a month, & start the whole damn thing over again.  Another break, more waiting, more time going by.  

My husband yall… He held my hand & bought me ice cream, while at the same time reassuring me that it was all going to be okay. That waiting a little longer wasn’t a big deal & that we were on the right path.

He deserves a gold metal.

As we were leaving LBK I got a phone call from my Dr. I paused Game of Thrones audiobook, felt my eyes fill with tears, & answered the phone.

THE HORMONE LEVELS HAD DROPPED TREMENDOUSLY! WHAT???!!! Praise the Lord!

They had gone from 127 to 51. (they wanted me around 50) WHOOP WHOOP!!!

That sure turned my frown upside down!  I was so excited! We were back on schedule!

It really got me thinking though, have I started having more faith in the doctors than I do God?

In just a few weeks my emotions have been such a rollercoaster (hello hormones) & no matter what, there isn’t anything that I have actual control over.

I can’t control my body producing cysts. I can’t control my hormone levels.  All I can control is my attitude & my prayers.

Have I prayed about it as much as I have talked about it? Well no…

It is so much easier to bitch about the ups & downs in life than to pray & give them all to God.

These last few weeks have taught me that I have little to no control over this process. We could do everything by the book & it still might not work. But giving all my fears & doubts to God will provide me with strength to continue on!

 

 

 

 

 

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